THERAPY FOR MEN IN SEATTLE
For men who feel overwhelmed, disconnected, stuck, or ashamed—whether you're navigating your first real relationship in your 20s or rebuilding after everything fell apart in your 40s.
In-person in Capitol Hill, Seattle • Telehealth across Washington State
YOU'RE CARRYING MORE THAN YOU LET ON
Maybe you're in your 20s, wondering why nothing feels right even though you're "supposed to" have it all ahead of you.
Maybe you're in your 30s or 40s, looking at what you've built and feeling empty.
Maybe you're starting over after everything fell apart.
On the outside, you might look fine. Or you might look like a mess. Either way, inside? You're overwhelmed. Tired. Angry at how quickly you react—or shut down. You feel lonely in ways you can't explain.
Nothing has to be "falling apart" for this to be real.
You can't keep doing it like this.
It is difficult to get the news from poems / yet men die miserably every day / for lack of what is found there.
— William Carlos Williams, "Asphodel, That Greeny Flower"
WHAT BRINGS MEN TO THERAPY
The emotional stuff:
Stress is turning into anger
They're snapping at their partner, kids, or coworkers
They feel numb or quiet on the inside
They can't enjoy anything anymore
They're shutting down emotionally
They feel ashamed of their reactions
They don't know how to talk about feelings
The identity stuff:
Something feels "off," but they can't name it
They're stuck between who they were told to be and who they actually are
They're questioning everything they thought they wanted
They feel behind their peers or like they're failing at adulthood
They’re a gay, bi, or queer man trying to locate some authentic version of masculinity when none of the available scripts ever fit
They don't know who they are outside of work/relationships/expectations
The life transition stuff:
First real relationship and terrified of screwing it up
Career that looked good on paper but feels meaningless
Breakup, divorce, or loss that broke something open
Just came out and processing what that means
Successful on paper but miserable in their life
The survival stuff:
They've been holding it together for so long they forgot what "not holding it together" even means
Childhood trauma they've never talked about
Always had to be the strong one, the provider, the one who handles it
Men are taught to be strong, handle it, keep it together, not burden anyone. Those rules worked—until they didn't.
WHAT LIFE COULD LOOK LIKE
Imagine waking up and not immediately scanning the day for what you have to fix or who you might let down.
Imagine sitting across from your partner during a hard conversation and staying in it—not going silent, not walking away, not saying something you'll regret. Actually hearing what they're saying instead of just defending yourself.
Imagine anger rising and knowing what to do with it. Not swallowing it until it leaks out sideways. Not letting it explode and then hating yourself after. Just feeling it, understanding it, letting it move through.
Imagine being with your kids and actually being there. Not half-present, not thinking about work, not performing "good dad." Just there.
Imagine coming home and setting down the provider mask—not because you're not still that man, but because the weight is finally shared. Because someone actually knows what's underneath.
Imagine the moment you realize you're not performing strength anymore—you actually feel it, from the inside, because the armor finally came off and you're still standing.
Imagine knowing what you want. Not what you're supposed to want. Not what looks successful. What actually matters to you.
This isn't fantasy. This is what men's therapy makes possible—not by making you softer or less capable, but by giving you access to the full range of yourself.
YOU DON'T NEED A LECTURE. YOU NEED A PLACE WHERE YOU DON'T HAVE TO PERFORM.
Working with men is a major part of my practice. Most men don't want "therapy." They want:
Clarity
Steadiness
Honesty
Someone who gets how overwhelming emotions can feel
Someone who won't judge them
Someone who helps them understand what's going on inside
That's what I offer.
HOW THIS WORK HAPPENS
Existential–Phenomenological Therapy We talk about your actual lived experience, not labels. We explore what's happening in your body, emotions, and relationships—not just what you think about it.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) For men carrying shame, trauma, or stuck emotional patterns. EMDR helps your brain process what's been overwhelming without having to narrate every detail.
Brainspotting For men who struggle to "talk about it" or feel everything "just shuts off." Brainspotting accesses trauma stored beneath words.
Flash Technique A gentle method for reducing emotional intensity. Effective for men who fear being flooded or overwhelmed by feelings.
Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (when appropriate) For men approved by a medical prescriber, KAP can help access emotions that feel walled off. Learn about KA-EMDR for stuck trauma or traditional KAP for deeper work.
Relational Trauma Work We build trust slowly. You don't need to open up all at once. We work moment-by-moment with anger, shame, shutdown, and the patterns that keep you isolated.
WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO WORK TOGETHER
Men describe therapy with me as:
Grounded
Steady
Relational
Practical
Nonjudgmental
Depth-oriented without being abstract
Trauma-informed
Honest without being harsh
You can show up angry, shut down, confused, or numb—and we slow down together. We don't push past what your system can handle.
I'm a gay therapist. Nothing you bring about desire, sexuality, shame, or the fear that being fully yourself will cost you belonging is going to unsettle me. That lived experience shapes how I work with any man whose sense of self has required negotiation—whether you're queer or straight, whether it's about sexuality, masculinity, or just the basic human struggle of feeling fundamentally misunderstood.
WHAT MEN'S THERAPY CAN HELP YOU DO
Through this work, men often begin to:
Understand your emotions instead of fearing them
Regulate anger and reactivity without suppressing everything
Stay present in conflict instead of shutting down or exploding
Communicate what you're actually feeling instead of withdrawing
Feel closer to your partner and kids instead of distant
Access the full range of emotions without numbing or flooding
Soften shame and develop self-compassion
Know who you are underneath the performance
Ask for help without feeling weak
FOR MEN IN THEIR 20s AND EARLY 30s:
You don't need to wait until you've "really fucked up your life" to deserve help.
A lot of younger men come to therapy because:
They're repeating patterns they saw growing up and want to stop now
They feel behind everyone else and don't know how to catch up
First serious relationship is bringing up everything they've avoided
They just came out and their family rejected them
They're drowning in shame they can't name
They're smart, capable, functional—and completely numb inside
They have no idea who they are outside of what others expect
You're not "too young" to have real problems. You're just young enough to interrupt the patterns before they define your entire adult life.
The work is the same whether you're 25 or 55: understanding what happened, feeling what you've been avoiding, and building a life that actually feels like yours.
WHAT BEGINS TO SHIFT
The first time you have a conflict and don't shut down. The moment you feel sadness and let it be there instead of immediately pushing through. The conversation where you actually say what's happening inside you instead of "I'm fine."
Your partner notices before you do. You're calmer. Less reactive. More present.
The constant internal pressure starts to ease. Not because life got easier, but because you're not white-knuckling through it alone anymore.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP WHITE-KNUCKLING THROUGH THIS
You can be strong and overwhelmed. Capable and exhausted. Successful and hurting. A good man and someone who needs help.
If you're ready to stop carrying it alone, I'm here.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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No. We work with what's actually happening in your body and reactions, not just talking about emotions in the abstract. Many men find this approach more accessible than traditional talk therapy.
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That's common. We use body-based methods like EMDR and Brainspotting that don't require you to narrate everything. You don't need perfect words to do this work.
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It varies. Some men feel significant shifts in 3-6 months. Others work for a year or more. We're not racing to "fix" you—we're working at the pace your nervous system needs.
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If you're asking that question, it's bad enough. You don't need to wait until you're in crisis to get help. Early intervention means you're not spending the next 20 years repeating patterns you could interrupt now.
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No. I'm not here to lecture you. We're working together to understand what's happening and what makes sense given your history and nervous system.
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Many men come to me after previous therapy that felt too surface-level or didn't address the body's role in trauma and shutdown. Body-based trauma work (EMDR, Brainspotting) often reaches what talk therapy alone can't.