Mt. St. Helens summit
For men who feel overwhelmed, disconnected, stuck, or ashamed—whether you're navigating your first real relationship in your 20s or rebuilding after everything fell apart in your 40s.
Maybe you're in your 20s, wondering why nothing feels right even though you're "supposed to" have it all ahead of you.
Maybe you're in your 30s or 40s, looking at what you've built and feeling empty.
Maybe you're starting over after everything fell apart.
On the outside, you might look fine. Or you might look like a mess. Either way, inside? You're overwhelmed. Tired. Angry at how quickly you react—or shut down. You feel lonely in ways you can't explain.
Nothing has to be "falling apart" for this to be real.
You can't keep doing it like this.
"And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so?"
— Raymond Carver, "Late Fragment"
The emotional stuff — anger, depression, anxiety in men:
The identity and relationship issues:
The life transition stuff:
The survival stuff:
Men are taught to be strong, handle it, keep it together, not burden anyone. Those rules worked—until they didn't.
Imagine waking up and not immediately scanning the day for what you have to fix or who you might let down.
Imagine sitting across from your partner during a hard conversation and staying in it—not going silent, not walking away, not saying something you'll regret. Actually hearing what they're saying instead of just defending yourself.
Imagine anger rising and knowing what to do with it. Not swallowing it until it leaks out sideways. Not letting it explode and then hating yourself after. Just feeling it, understanding it, letting it move through.
Imagine being with your kids and actually being there. Not half-present, not thinking about work, not performing "good dad." Just there.
Imagine coming home and setting down the provider mask—not because you're not still that man, but because the weight is finally shared. Because someone actually knows what's underneath.
Imagine the moment you realize you're not performing strength anymore—you actually feel it, from the inside, because the armor finally came off and you're still standing.
Imagine knowing what you want. Not what you're supposed to want. Not what looks successful. What actually matters to you.
This isn't fantasy. This is what men's therapy makes possible—not by making you softer or less capable, but by giving you access to the full range of yourself.
Men's mental health counseling is a major part of my practice. Most men don't want "therapy." They want:
That's what I offer.
Existential–Phenomenological Therapy — We talk about your actual lived experience, not labels. We explore what's happening in your body, emotions, and relationships—not just what you think about it.
Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) — For men stuck between who they think they should be and who they actually are. ACT builds psychological flexibility: the ability to feel difficult emotions without being controlled by them, and to act from your values instead of your defenses.
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) — For men carrying shame, trauma, or stuck emotional patterns. EMDR helps your brain process what's been overwhelming without having to narrate every detail.
Brainspotting — For men who struggle to "talk about it" or feel everything "just shuts off." Brainspotting accesses trauma stored beneath words.
Flash Technique — A gentle method for reducing emotional intensity. Effective for men who fear being flooded or overwhelmed by feelings.
Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy (when appropriate) — For men approved by a medical prescriber, KAP can help access emotions that feel walled off. Learn about KA-EMDR for stuck trauma or traditional KAP for deeper work.
Relational Trauma Work — We build trust slowly. You don't need to open up all at once. We work moment-by-moment with anger, shame, shutdown, and the patterns that keep you isolated.
Men describe therapy with me as:
You can show up angry, shut down, confused, or numb—and we slow down together. We don't push past what your system can handle.
I'm a gay therapist for men in Seattle. Nothing you bring about desire, sexuality, shame, or the fear that being fully yourself will cost you belonging is going to unsettle me. That lived experience shapes how I work with any man whose sense of self has required negotiation—whether you're queer or straight, whether it's about sexuality, masculinity, or just the basic human struggle of feeling fundamentally misunderstood. I also offer specialized LGBTQ+ affirming therapy.
Through this work, men often begin to:
You don't need to wait until you've "really fucked up your life" to deserve help.
A lot of younger men come to therapy because:
You're not "too young" to have real problems. You're just young enough to interrupt the patterns before they define your entire adult life.
The work is the same whether you're 25 or 55: understanding what happened, feeling what you've been avoiding, and building a life that actually feels like yours.
The first time you have a conflict and don't shut down. The moment you feel sadness and let it be there instead of immediately pushing through. The conversation where you actually say what's happening inside you instead of "I'm fine."
Your partner notices before you do. You're calmer. Less reactive. More present.
The constant internal pressure starts to ease. Not because life got easier, but because you're not white-knuckling through it alone anymore.
No. We might talk about situations, relationships, decisions, or patterns—and feelings show up naturally in that context. You don't need to perform emotional fluency. We build that capacity together over time, at a pace that doesn't feel forced.
That's completely normal. Many men come in not knowing how to name what they're feeling—just that something's wrong. We work with what's happening in your body, your reactions, your relationships. The words come later.
It depends on what you're working on. Some men come for a few months during a crisis or transition. Others stay longer to work through trauma, relationship patterns, or identity questions. We'll figure out together what makes sense for you.
If something in your life isn't working—if you're overwhelmed, reactive, shut down, or just tired of white-knuckling through everything—that's enough. You don't need a diagnosis or a crisis to deserve support.
No. This isn't about judgment or lectures. It's about understanding what's actually happening inside you and building new options. I'm direct, but I'm not here to make you feel worse about yourself.
A lot of men have. Maybe it felt too slow, too vague, or too focused on talking without anything changing. This work is different—we use EMDR, Brainspotting, and somatic approaches that don't require you to narrate your entire history. If previous therapy didn't land, we can talk about why and try something different.
A big part of my practice is straight men. Sessions are direct, grounded, and practical—we talk about anger, relationships, work stress, sex, whatever's actually on the table. Your concerns get taken seriously, not filtered through someone else's framework.